Grassing to the cops about grass

Grassing to the cops about grass

“A report in the local paper says that ‘a man has been charged with stealing and possessing cannabis’. The wording is somewhat ambiguous but it raises the question: Can you be charged with stealing someone else's stash?” asks Peter Riley of Penrith. Granny wonders how one would report such a theft to police in the first place. Murray Cullen of East Ballina notes that: “New Zealand may not have COVID-19 but they do have ‘rock snot’ (C8) in many of the South Island rivers. The scientific name is Didymosphenia germinata, almost as difficult to pronounce as Smugairlie Roni.” Referring to oysters as shark snot reminded Neville Bofinger, of Evans Head of an utterance usually credited to Jonathan Swift: "It was a bold man who first ate an oyster." “I can trump all this talk of old stuff (C8),” reckons Nola Tucker of Kiama. “My clothes have 'Made in Australia' labels.” To which Joan Brown of Orange adds: “A wave of nostalgia for me when buying men’s singlets, seeing the familiar smiling face of Chesty Bond on the packaging. Poor old Chesty, that most Aussie of icons, now his gleaming white singlet is merely ‘Designed in Australia’.” Peter Carroll of Noosa Heads writes: “Ian Eldershaw (C8) asks how ‘removing cards from a deck benefits the house when the banker plays with the same deck?’ In blackjack, the house advantage occurs when both the player and the house go bust and the player is deemed to have lost. If the ratio of tens or similar high cards is increased, the probability of going bust also increases and this advantages the house. Of course, if players track the ratios of cards remaining, they can adjust their play enough to turn the odds in their favour. That is why card counting is banned in casinos.” “With an unusual name like Alan Blow (C8), I have to ask: Is this the Hon Alan Michael Blow AO, Chief Justice of Tasmania and Lieutenant-Governor of that fair state?” asks B. A. Wilson of Pages Creek. “If so, impressive to read the Mercury and the Herald each morning.” We can confirm it is the chief justice but he doesn’t like to blow his own trumpet. Warren Menteith of Bali likes the word Trumpistic (C8) but would like to suggest another: “Trumpematics – A school of mathematics characterised by the inability to draw logical, sustainable, correct or supportable conclusions.” No attachments, please. Include name, suburb and daytime phone.

Most Viewed in National