Don't have a cow? How about an elephant?

Don't have a cow? How about an elephant?

Having waited patiently for a Guyra resident to join the conversation on unusual car damage (C8), Bob Doepel of Greenway (ACT) could hold out no longer. "While working in Guyra in the early 1970s, I recall a local having difficulty explaining to her insurance company that an elephant sat on her car. She had been parked at the local showground watching a travelling circus set up, when an elephant with an itchy bum decided to use the bonnet of her car as a scratching post."

Apropos of bovine bingles (C8), Ian Sanderson of Salamander Bay once saw a police accident report where a motorist had collided with a cow. "In the section for brand of the other vehicle the resourceful constable inserted 'Steer'. In the section for model he wrote 'Hereford'."

"You're probably over cow stories (C8) by now," writes Andrew Mowat of Beecroft. Never, says Granny. "In the early '70s I left my trusty red Cortina parked in a cow paddock to go chasing bunnies. Coming back down the hill a few hours later I saw the car surrounded by a herd of cattle and found that they had licked every square inch of it. Not a pretty sight, and the old car's windscreen wipers couldn't cope with it either. Still haunts me ... but at least they didn't stand on it!"

All this to-do about plumbers' nicknames (C8) is completely unnecessary, according to Simon Chance of Richmond Hill. "Everyone knows that plumbers are called Kenny."

Marjie Williamson of Blaxland believes that Granny and other women of the "mature generation" should be concerned. "Why do invitations to breast screening and bowel cancer screening stop at age 76? Don't we matter after that?" Mature? Granny? Not a chance. A spritely slip of a girl at a mere 73!


John Swanson of Cap Negret (Spain) answers Graham Russell's request with a true European perspective. "Here in Altea in Spain, double elbow bumps (C8) are thought of as hugs."

As an architect who has spent a great deal of time on country building sites, Richard Barraclough of Chisholm (ACT) has noticed a particular consistency with the foreman’s site dogs. "They were all usually blue heelers. Was this to keep the other tradies’ dogs in line?" Having an architect’s propensity for German shepherds, Richard has often wondered if there is consistency of breed for other trades. "Do plumbers have dachshunds? Roofers have ridgebacks? Painters have some sort of bristly dog?"

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