A Christmas conspiracy
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A Christmas conspiracy

"I notice one of the free-to-air networks is showing Christmas movies at noon all week," says Mickey Pragnell of Kiama. "Christmas in July is one thing, but is this some sort of northern hemisphere plot to move our traditional sweltering Yuletide festivities into global sync with winter?"

Alan Blow of Hobart (Tas) recalls: "Once at a legal conference in Auckland, I attended a breakfast where one page of the menu read, 'This page (C8) has not unintentionally not been left blank'." Better get a lawyer to take a look at it.

"Since taking up embroidery again during the lockdown, I noticed that threading a needle is not as easy as it once was," writes Patricia Farrar of Concord. "So, while trying to buy a needle-threader online I found this excellent piece of advice: 'A great tool for the old man or person who is no patient doing sewing.' I bought two, one in case an old man drops in for a spot of embroidery."

Not grate. "There is a section in my local Woolies called 'Entertaining Cheese'. Well, I watched for a while and it wasn't," says Sue Davis of Wamberal.

Alan Smith of Toowoomba (Qld) thinks "The spread of COVID-19 is dependent on two factors:

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  1. How dense the population is.
  2. How dense the population is."

George Veness of Pennant Hills has a new word for the Macquarie: "Trumpistic — meaning any breathtakingly stupid act by a government leader." This reminds Granny of a recent C8 flashback that came courtesy of Kersi Meher-Homji of St Ives: "Some things never change. The Best of Column 8, edited by George Richards in 1995, had a relevant item. Ian Hewitt of Clareville had written: 'Politicians are like bananas. They start off green, quickly turn yellow and there’s not a straight one in the whole bunch'." Appropriate when discussing Republicans.

"Good story, Peter Gaffaney (C8), but can anyone explain how removing cards from a deck benefits the house when the banker plays with same deck?" asks Ian Eldershaw of West Pymble.

Margaret Ramon (C8) suggests it's time to mention that the Irish name for jellyfish translates to 'seal snot'. Norman Fisher of Saratoga suggests that "being told this at breakfast is not the appropriate time."

"I share Don Leayr's bewilderment about why some people say 'incidences' (C8)," says Adrian Connelly of Springwood. "They're probably the same people who say 'orientated' instead of 'oriented'."

Column8@smh.com.au

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